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| My New Friend |
I was standing at my car, trying to open the door but I couldn't find my keys. I thought I had lost them, but then I remembered setting them down on the sink when I went to the bathroom. Turning back towards the bar, I realized that I have had too much to drink. ...read the rest!
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| Asian Persuation |
Tad was on his way up in the corporation; he could feel it. Employee reviews were just around the corner and he finally seemed to be making a good impression on his boss. He knew that competition for a promotion would be fierce, and being good wasn't going to be enough. Tad knew that he was going to have to look the part as well.
As much as he hated clothes shopping, he figured he'd bite the bullet and get a new suit or two and perhaps a matching sport jacket and pants. As usual, he got out of work late and the stores would be closing soon. It was Wednesday, and the men's department was vacant. He poked through the racks for a few minutes then looked at his watch. If no one comes over here to help me in about the next two minutes, he thought, I'm outta here. ...read the rest!
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| Morning Roomie |
I smacked the alarm clock hard, I didnt remember if I set it or not. God, another early morning and cold as hell. I didnt want to get out of my nice cozy bed. I cracked open one eye and tried to see what time it actually was before I woke up completely. I am one of those types that think that the extra fifteen minutes of sleep would actually do me some good. It was almost seven am and definitely time to get up. I slowly got out of bed, dreading the fact I had to leave my warm cocoon. I stood up and stretched, my t-shirt rose up letting the cool air touch my skin. I wandered into the kitchen and found Nina waiting for the coffee pot to finish brewing. Morning roomie. She said not so bright eyed. Morning babe, sleep well? She nodded. She was always up this early, even on the weekends. She made me sick.
...read the rest!
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| Empty Nest |
Despite the fact Id driven her to the college and helped her get settled into her freshman dorm room, I couldnt believe that Kaitlin was gone. Ever since Mark and I divorced, over ten years ago, my life had built solely around taking care of my daughter. Sure, I tried dating a few times but none of those guys lasted very long. Every time Id go out, Id feel guilty about leaving my little girl back home. Only now, I guess, she wasnt so little. She was sleeping under a different roof, in her dorm. I was wide-awake, pacing an empty house in my nightgown. ...read the rest!
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| Bouncy Lust |
I got up to take a piss. Neither of these two things was as easy these days as they used to be. My knees ached as I got out of bed and staggered in the dark to the bathroom. I stood in front of the bowl with my dick in my hand, waiting for my prostate to co-operate. My wife, Marge, was down in Florida tending to her sick sister. In a few years, when I retired, we were thinking about selling the old place and moving down to Florida ourselves. The neighborhood was becoming a bit too loud for my tastes.
...read the rest!
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Eight 7 inch plates with assorted color penises and phrases, perfect for any bachelorette party.